Anger is a natural and necessary human emotion. Of all of the emotions we experience, healthy anger is often the one that powers us up to make constructive change including such as setting clear boundaries with others, discovering our sense of self value, developing new behaviours and speaking up for ourselves in new ways

 

Unhealthy, or mismanaged, anger occurs when we are reactive rather than responsive with our anger. Seemingly out of our control we can almost automatically go into set thoughts and behaviours.

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Our mismanaged anger can either be directed outwardly as aggression or turned inwardly and lead to self-destructive manifestations.

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Symptoms of unhealthy anger directed outwardly include:

 

• Violence or aggression

• Blaming

• Lashing out with verbal or emotional outbursts

• Being controlling and critical

• Relationship problems

• Generally feeling frustrated and agitated or on the verge of anger

• Frequently feeling defensive or ashamed of your own aggressive behaviour

 

Symptoms of unhealthy anger directed inwardly include:

 

• General anxiety and distress

• Emotional shutdown, fear, avoidance, depression

• Withdrawal, being passive-aggressive, holding bitterness or grudges

• Blame and self-pity

• Being accommodating or appeasing in relationship